The Meaning of The Question

•June 8, 2009 • Leave a Comment

“If you can save the whole world but you have to kill one innocent girl to do it, will you kill her?”

I remember being asked that question when I was a kid. I didn’t remember who was it that asked me that question, nor do I remember what my answer was; all I know is that if someone asked me that question again; my answer will be “NO”.

However, the thing that I wanted to know more isn’t what is the correct answer or what would other people answer the question, what I wanted to know is something more basic, something more fundamental. What I wanted to know; is the meaning of the question itself.

My first thought on the meaning of the question is that, it asked people to weigh which is more important, the need of one person, or the need of a whole group. If one were to answer that they will kill the girl in order to save the whole world, it shows that they care more for the need of the whole group than the need of an individual.

However, if my first opinion is correct, then it still won’t make sense to me. My answer to the question is “I won’t kill the girl”, but it doesn’t align with my personality as I believe that I’ve always placed to need of the team first, before the need of one person. Does that mean my opinion on the meaning of the question is wrong, or I just don’t fully understand myself?

My second guess on the meaning of the question is that, to see whether the person would do the thing right, or do the right thing. However, I am not entirely sure of this because to me, the line between the two is like a single thread. Maybe if one were to answer that they won’t kill the girl, then they are doing the right thing, or maybe it’s the other way around, but like I’ve said, the line that separates the two is too thin and too blurry for me to see and determine which is which.

So, what do you think? What is the meaning behind this question that has been around for so long, and what would you do if you were to face such situation? All I can say is that I hope that I will never have to face such situation.

What I…

•March 23, 2009 • 1 Comment

What I am treading on is a path called life,
how I wonder what will I encounter on it.
What I have grabbed is nothing but a piece of the puzzle,
maybe it will give me a peek of what’s to come.
What I search for is knowledge,
the hammer that can give me the power to forge my own future.
What I am climbing is the ladder called ambition,
without knowing what awaits me at the end.
What I fear of is failures,
the pain of falling down from where I’ve climbed.
What I fight for is my believes,
in my religion, my family, my friends, my ideals, and my dreams.
What I am guilty of is my weakness,
in my heart, my mind, my resolve, and my abilities.
What I yearn for is salvation,
and a way to atone for the sins I’ve committed.
What I envy of is the naive dreams of the innocents,
hopeful, pure, and untainted.
What I have respect for is the knights,
people with an unshaken heart, who sacrifice themselves for the good of others.
What I laughed at are the fools,
ones that enslaved themselves to their greed, lust, fear, and hate.
What I cry for is the death of humanity,
murdered by the seven sins of men.
What I condemn are the traitors,
who betrayed not just others but themselves for their own needs.
What I seek is the untainted truth,
the shining blade that can even cut through the darkest lies.
What I wished for is a fantasy,
a world where everyone will be able to achieve their dreams without hurting others.

Manga I Own

•December 19, 2008 • Leave a Comment

1.Bleach (17 volumes)
2.Kekkaishi (15 volumes)
3.Neon Genesis Evangelion (3 volumes)
4.Neon Genesis Evangelion: Angelic Days (6 volumes)
5.Escaflowne (8 volumes)
6.D.N.Angel (11 volumes)
7.Kindaichi Shonen no Jikenbo (52 volumes)
8.Samurai Deeper Kyo (15 volumes)
9.Rurouni Kenshin (28 volumes)
10.Rockman X (10 volumes)
11.Tenjho Tenge (10 volumes)
12.Rave Groove Adventure (35 volumes)
13.Yu-Gi-Oh (38 volumes)
14.Ichigo 100% (19 volumes)
15.Hayate The Combat Butler (10 volumes)
16.Gunslinger Girl (9 volumes)
17.Saishuu Heiki Kanajo (7 volumes)
18.Chibi Vampire (10 volumes)
19.Omamori Himari (4 volumes)
20.Shina Dark (3 volumes)
21.Black Cat (1 volumes)

Anime I Own

•December 19, 2008 • Leave a Comment

1.Vision of Escaflowne
2.Neon Genesis Evangelion
3.Tenjho Tenge
4.Fullmetal Alchemist
5.Onegai Teacher
6.Onegai Twins
7.Saiyuki (Gensomaden, Reload, Gunlock)
8.Wolf’s Rain
9.D.N.Angel
10.Love Hina
11.You’re Under Arrest (Season 1, OVA, The Movie)
12.Romeo X Juliet
13.Shakugan no Shana (1, 2)
14.Slayers (The Slayers, Slayers Next, Slayers Try)
15.Fate Stay Night
16.The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi
17.Escaflowne The Movie
18.Death & Rebirth of Evangelion
19.Fullmetal Alchemist the Movie: Conqueror of Shamballa
20.Love Hina Again
21.Tekken The Animation
22.Rurouni Kenshin OVA (Trust & Betrayal, Reflection)
23.Ah! My Goddess The Movie
24.Gundam Wing The Movie: Endless Waltz
25.Midori no Hibi
26.Dragon Ball Z The Movie (The Quest for Earth, Burning Battle, Dangerous Rivals, Rival Fusion)
27.Dragon Ball GT The Movie
28.Nien Resurrection
29.Cardcaptor Sakura The movie (1, 2: The Sealed Card)
30.Ghost In The Shell The Movie
31.SaiKano: Another Love Song
32.Spirited Away
33.Kindaichi Shonen no Jikenbo The Movie
34.Pokemon The Movie (1, 2, 3, 4, Mew Two Returns)
35.Digimon The Movie
36.Appleseed: Ex Machina
37.Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni (1, 2: Kai)
38.Lucky Star OVA

Games Completed

•December 19, 2008 • Leave a Comment

1.Summon Night Swordcraft Story (1, 2)
2.Summon Night Twin Age
3.Pokemon (Blue, Yellow, Red, Silver, Gold, Crystal, Ruby, Leaf Green, Mystery Dungeon Blue)
4.Megaman X4
5.Megaman Zero (1, 2, 3, 4)
6.Megaman ZX (1, Advent)
7.Megaman Battle Network (1, 3:Blue, 4:Red Sun, 5:Team Protoman, 6:Cybeast Gregar)
8.Megaman Starforce (1:Dragon, 2:Zerker X Saurian)
9.Metal Slug (1, 2, X, 3, 4, 5, 6)
10.King of Fighters (95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 2000, 2001, 2002, EX: Neo Blood)
11.Tekken (2, 3, 4, 5)
12.Bomberman Land Touch! (1, 2)
13.Bomberman Tournament
14.Shaman King Legacy of Spirits: Sprinting Wolf
15.Shaman king Master of Spirits (1, 2)
16.Final Fantasy (1 & 2 Advance, 4 Advance, Tactics Advance)
17.Lunar Legend
18.Lunar: Dragon Song
19.Castlevania (Circle of The Moon, Aria of Sorrow, Dawn of Sorrow, Potraits of Ruin)
20.Sonic (Advance 3, R)
21.Golden Sun
22.Last Blade 2
23.Starcraft
24.Etrian Odyssey (1, 2: Heroes of Lagaard)
25.Izuna: Legend of The Unemployed Ninja
26.Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass
27.Guilty Gear X Advance Edition
28.The House of The Dead (1, 2)
29.Sword of Mana
30.Children of Mana
31.Digimon Battle Sprit 2
32.Metroid: Zero Mission
33.Digimon World: Dusk

Finally, I’ve finished Izuna

•July 18, 2008 • 1 Comment

I won, I finally won….. After so many months, so many try, so many failures, so many frustrations, I have beaten Izuna: Legend of The Unemployed Ninja, a dungeon RPG game for the Nintendo DS.

 

            I started playing the game around November 2007, I was beaten pretty bad and decided to play and finish other games that I got first. The hard aspects of the game that I found are:

1. The save points is only useful to take rest from the game, in other words, when you die in a dungeon, you’ll have to start all over again, not from the save point.  

2. The “shut the game down when you almost die” tactic doesn’t work. Unlike many other games out there, where if you shut the game down when you almost die, you will restart at the last save point, Izuna have another gameplay rule. If you shut the game down, the game will automatically consider you commit suicide, in other words, the result is just the same as getting kill.

3. When you die, you will lose all the money, and the items that you are carrying with you. There is a way to save your weapons though, by sticking a Kikan talisman to it. This way, when you die, the weapon will be send to the storehouse (of course that is if the store house is available and not full at the moment).

4. The number of items you can carry is limited, and except for bombs, kunai, caltrops, and shuriken. Everything else is will take one place per item.  

5. In the dungeons, there will be traps and monsters, there are traps and monsters attacks that will destroy your items or affect your status and weapon.

Well, there are more reasons I can put in as the game challenges, but I think these are the main ones.

 

After a while, I continued playing Izuna. This time, I got pretty far, finished almost all the dungeons and even defeated the last god (a dungeon boss), it was tough for me at that time. 21 floors of enemies, and there are also traps to watch out for. After beating the last god, I thought it was over, guess I was wrong though. There’s another dungeon, and another boss to beat.

 

A dungeon with 41 floors to go through, complete with monsters at their strongest form and many traps, the last dungeon was almost like hell to me at that time. After almost getting killed so many times, I became traumatized. I was afraid to play it again, and decided to finish some other games first.

 

Around end of May 2008, I have finished every game I got except for Izuna. So once again, I played the game with the aim of finishing it. I decided that defense was the main key (as I only focus on raising my attack and completely neglected my defense before), I started to raise my defense. After a while, I finally ready to challenge the dungeon again (or so I thought). With 3 swords with attack points of 300 something and 2 arm guards with defense points of over 600, I challenged the dungeon one more time. Sadly, not everything goes my way; I found myself again, at the edge of death and escaped the dungeon with frustrations and anger on my mind.

 

Finally I decided to go all the way; I decided to make the ultimate gears by raising my attack and defense points to 999. I started with my sword Zantetsu, after raising its base attack to 995 (after equip, the attack will be add to my own base attack of 5 points so it will still raise to max), I stick 3 Hayate talisman to it, so I can attack twice per turn. After that, I raise my Enma arm’s defense to 999, and stick 7 Mikiri and 1 Kikan to it. Now I’m ready to face the dungeon one more time.

 

After selecting the items that I will bring, I went into the last dungeon (of the story), Singularity. The hard works that I’ve done proved to be worth it, as also the 3 Hayate talismans that I stick to my sword. Everything was going my way; I decided not to explore each floor and made finding the stair my main objective. This is to avoid using the sword to much and break it, although I’ve brought many Fukugen talisman with me to fix my gear when needed, the talisman drain SP which will resulting in reducing my attack. But after halfway through, a monster burned one of the Hayate talisman leaving only 2. Unfortunately, 3 will be needed to launch the attack twice in one turn, and now, I can only attack once per turn. After that, every other thing was smooth and I was able to reach the 41st floor.

 

The fight started well, I finished other monsters first so they won’t disturb me later (during my fight with the last boss). When I saw the boss being close to me, I throw all the bombs I got at him, causing around 8000 damage. I went in front of him and attack him, but the attack wasn’t as high as I hope, seems like the boss also got a really high defense. As we were exchanging blows, the boss used his special attack that cost me half my HP and threw me all the way to the wall. I decided to heal myself by walking and ran from the boss. After healing my HP, I found myself being cornered and his special attack hit me again, unfortunately, the wall was right behind me and he was a step away only. After healing myself by using one of the 3 Orb of Divinity that I got, I exchange blows with him one more time and after that was hit by his special attack again and flown away across the room. I quickly used the second orb at tried to make space between me and him, but he was good at cornering me and hit me with that special attack one more time. Once again I was flying across the room until I hit the wall. I used the last orb and walk a few steps only to be cornered by him. Since that was the first time I’ve ever reach that far, I decided to go all the way and attack him, he return the favor with a normal attack. With fear in my mind I attack him one more time and suddenly, when I was expecting an attack I saw him falling, and at that time I knew I’ve won……

Sweet Smile of Yours

•March 1, 2008 • 2 Comments

Dear girl
I remember the first time we met
your eyes that shines like a pearl
and your smile that makes my heart melt

I don’t know what you did
just the sight of you make my heart ease
no drugs nor alcohol can ever beat
this strong feeling that your smile leave

Your smile was sweet and lovely
just the sight of it soothe me and made me calm
when I was in pain or sorrow it made me happy
made me feel like I can grab anything into my palm

I thanked the lord for letting me meet you
and I thank you for just being there
you changed me even if you didn’t realize it, it’s true
that in this world someone like you is rare

The last time I saw you
on your face wasn’t a smile but hate
it pains me but there’s nothing I can do
because it felt like it was already too late

I don’t know what I’ve done to you
and I don’t know if I can be forgiven
but I want to say I’m sorry, I really do
if it was my fault that your smile was taken

where ever you are, what ever you do
like when we first met, the first time I set my eyes on you
I hope you’re smiling happily like you always do
the smile that made me fell in love with you

I’ve always wish to see you again
but this wish can’t seem to come true
I want to apologize for the things I did that caused you pain
and to say straight from my heart that I love you  

The Festival of Masks

•April 9, 2007 • 1 Comment

Sometimes we will hide an inner or different personality, behaviour, feelings or thoughts. Things that we don’t show to the person around us, things that we keep only to ourselves, and to hide these things we will wear a mask. A mask that is often be call hypocrisy.

Hypocrisy is usually considered by many as a dishonourable act because the people who practice it is being dishonest by not showing the truth about themselves and that it’s better to live by always to telling the truth no matter what. But can hypocrisy truly consider as a bad thing? Is it really a good idea to show your true self all the time, to everyone around you?

The truth is hypocrisy can’t be count as a bad thing all the time as sometimes we will face a situation where it is better to wear a mask and hide the truth than to tell it, depends on the situation we are facing, or the reason we wear it. If we wear the mask so the people around us wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, or to make the people we love happy, is that still considered as a dishonourable act?

But there are also bad consequences, by keeping all of our true feelings under the mask we may hurt ourselves. As people always say to gain something, we must sacrifice something else in return? if we always want to keep everyone else happy, we probably end up losing our own happiness. I guess to avoid from meeting such consequences, we must first decide which is more important to us, our own happiness or the happiness of the people we love. If the answer is the happiness of the people we love, then it’s fine to wear the mask, but if we decide our own happiness is more important, then we should just take the mask down and face the world with our true selves.

Where’s The Line?

•April 7, 2007 • 1 Comment

There’s an old saying that goes “Giving up doesn’t always mean you are weak. Sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go”. I have always wonder when does the term ‘sometimes’ can be count. Since we usually give up on something after meeting with failures, how would we know that what we are doing isn’t running away from facing our failures and using these words to justify our actions, and how can we differentiate between ‘weak’ and ‘strong’?

If a boy whose dream is to become a software programmer, and he pursue his study in programming but found that he doesn’t have talents in this field. Even though he tried, he still can’t do well in programming and so he change his way to become a graphic artist instead. Now, does his action shows that he is to weak to hold on to his dream of becoming a software programmer, or does it shows that he is strong enough to let that dream go and turn his way to be a graphic artist? Or a college student who was taking art course but then found out that the art field isn’t doing well in the market, and so he change his way and took business course instead. Is that a sign of being ‘weak‘, or being ‘strong’?

People always give up when they can’t go on doing something because they either keep meeting a dead end, or fail again and again in doing it. People also tends to give up when they can’t see success in the future of what they’re doing even if it‘s a dream that they have held on to for so long, and when these things happen they‘ll use the same words to make themselves feel better. When these situations happen, isn’t it the same as running away, or is it different? Where’s the line that separates ‘weak’ and ‘strong enough to let go’, or maybe these words are truly made only to justify our action of giving up on something?