Sorry
A blind fool that’s me
Oblivious to my own crime
For I have failed to see
That the heart worth more than just a dime
Girl I’m just a fool
One who’s bad with words
So I’m sorry if what I said
Made your feelings hurt
I’m sorry if I hurt you
I’m sorry if I made you cry
But please girl I’m begging you
Please don’t say goodbye
Seeing you always smiling
Bring cheers to my heart
And even imagining your tear falling
Cause it to tear apart
Now what should I do?
I have no idea in mind
I can only hope that it will reach you
Words born from this heart of mine
Girl all I’m asking you
Is to give me one more try
To return your smile to you
And to wipe off those tear you’ve cry
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Hey I’m just commenting on the link you gave me from DA. So this piece reads more like song lyrics than enything else. A minor grammar thing it should be “heart is worth”. I mean overall I think you need to do more to make the poem yours. There’s nothing that really makes it stand out. The emotion’s definitely there, and the reader can feel that, I just think you need to work on portraying the sentiment in a way that evokes the situation in a manner that makes your words undeniably yours. That can mean coming up with a different structure, or focusing more on a show rather than tell method of poetry, but just something that adds a new demension to the emotions your expressing.